Defining Demisexual, Asexuality and, oh yea, Zucchinis are a thing

Asexuals are slowly becoming more and more mainstream in today’s social conversation. The asexuality umbrella includes labels like demisexual, graysexual, aromantic and more. My guest Bauer runs an asexual meet-up group called Aces NYC. We discussed being asexual, demisexuallity and what labels really mean. This one is not for the easily-offended Social Justice Warriors, but a fantastic episode!

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Asexuals are people who do not feel sexual attraction. So why are we talking about this on a slutty show like The Manwhore Podcast? Asexuality is an extremely valid and notable aspect of sexuality—the lack of sexual desire! Bauer and I discuss what life is like dating as an ace (nickname for ‘asexual’) and how she discovered her sexual orientation. Bauer also shares what it was like coming out to her friends and family as asexual.

Labels are a good thing. They help us communicate to one another what something. At some point, however, labels become too much. Today’s Internet culture loves to subdivide and overclassify people and actions with fake labels and gross portmanteus. Whether it’s ‘mansplaining’ or ‘sapiosexual,’ younger generations rely on clusters of letters to coddle them into comfort. I give my take on labels, their uses and why ‘zucchini’ is not a term that should catch on!

Bauer goes to bat for demisexuals in this week’s podcast. Demisexuals only feel sexual attraction to people they have an emotional connection to. This term is fairly new to digital media consumers but that type of person has existed label-less for a very, very long time. Plenty of people want to be in love before having sex with someone. But apparently demis don’t feel like they fit in to society’s growing hook-up culture. News alert: the hook-up culture is not the standard! If hooking up and casual sex were such a standard, slutshaming and sexual bullying would be way less of a problem. A lot of us don’t “fit in.” Don’t hide behind a Tumblr hashtag. Go be proud of being yourself!

Bauer tells us what an asexual meet-up is like and I was jealous. Hanging out with a group of people without all of the sexual tension must be awesome! Plus she tells us how she met her current partner as well as her something-something crush on the side.

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To learn more about asexuality, demisexuals, graysexuals and the rest of the ace umbrella, visit www.AcesNYC.org. Check out Aces NYC on social media!

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This week’s episode is sponsored by Rage. When you need to burn a bridge, use Rage.

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