A listener emailed me recently doing that thing feminists hate: playing Devil’s Advocate about a topic he doesn’t fully understand. He asked me why men have “no rights” from conception, through a pregnancy, to birth or termination. The tone was as nonchalant as if he proposed “interesting” exceptions to the tax code. He proceeded to propose scenarios and solutions, such as when the woman wants to have the baby and the man does not. To which, his solution was letting the father sign away his rights to his child in the same window of time she has to terminate the pregnancy—a responsibility abortion, if you will.
His issue, in summary, was that “the female has 100% control over that child and the decisions around it.” The following is my response to his philosophical “dilemma”: !
I’ve been listening for a while and I have a kind of unusual issue. I hope you might be able to offer some discrete male insight.
I started listening to you and Dan Savage last year, which was great. It encouraged to me open up communications with my partner of 5+ years. I love him dearly and was ready to commit long-term but I was finding myself seriously desiring sex with other men (I’ve been prone to cheat in past long-term relationships). So I sat him down for the “monogomish” convo him and we agreed to open up the relationship sexually and set some basic rules— basically nothing at home, don’t let it impact our time together and safe sex.
My girlfriend and I are both bartenders who look forward to listening to your show on Thursday nights while we make dinner. We have recently been doing this “sexual awakening” thing, and we have found that your show gives us a lot to talk about that maybe we wouldn’t have otherwise thought of. We are starting to try new things, and it’s great to have some inspiration through listening to an honest guy’s perspective on a variety of sexual topics. What prompted our sexual experimentation was the admission that my girlfriend has never had an orgasm— Continue reading
Love the show. It’s so refreshing to hear these things spoken about without shame, yet with empathy for others. I enjoy that your show has a respect for reveling in pleasure rather than bragging about conquest tales. Hearing your advice, your empathy yet honesty, and your episode with Mistress Jay led me to write, thinking you might have the perfect perspective to aid in my silly recent hook-up dilemma. Continue reading
Ok even though I have straight friends and they accept me and love me for who I am, I know there’re also ones that are against my homosexuality. I have lost friends cause of it. Continue reading