Comedian James Mattern is this week’s guest on The Manwhore Podcast. The hardworking hustler is here with words of wisdom on women and relationships. Mattern has a ton of Yoda-like moments on this podcast and you’re really in for a treat! He also has a lot of opinions about sleeping with fellow comedians. Hilarious episode!
There may be no industry more incestuous than comedy. James Mattern has fucked more than a few comedians in his day. On the one hand, they know the lifestyle and keep a similar schedule. On the other hand, you’re not supposed to date at the office, right? Mattern summizes, “It’s not really shitting where you eat. It’s more like shitting where you snack.” Having only hooked up with a few comedians myself, I ask him how these always seem to come about. Spoiler alert: alcohol.
Here’s a taste of the prophetic thoughts of James L. Mattern: “When relationships are good, it’s a Woody Allen movie. You’re just firing off these one-liners that are just poignant and funny and smart and clever and it feels so good. And the sex is better with that too. When you have witty banter you have witty banter sex which is just amazing. But it’s barely that! We’ve seen these movies, we’ve seen these romantic comedies. It has fucked up dating!”
Asexuals are mad at me! After last week’s episode with Bauer, the aces started trashing me about being wrong and an asshole. However, not many of them actually downloaded the episode. Instead, they read an unauthorized transcript of my podcast and started leaving negative reviews on iTunes, despite never listening. I need your help! Go leave an honest review for me on iTunes today by clicking here!
Apparently you can fail the Kinsey Test. Yea, James didn’t know that either. I tell Mattern the story about Andrea Allan giving me the Kinsey Test and how I failed it. I either answered a question wrong or am “a very unusual person.” Plus, that time my guest got eyefucked by the receptionist of an STD clinic. Go get tested people! And use a damned condom!
Both Mattern and I were late sexual bloomers. Today we are both running in full stride! He and I both share a similar, “Look at me now,” feeling when thinking about our virgial pasts. It’s a great feeling. But my present-day prowess still doesn’t prevent me from Tinder Oops! moments like the one I share on this week’s episode.
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This week’s episode is sponsored by babies and bubbas. Just when you thought no one said ‘babies’ and ‘bubbas’ anymore, James Mattern cheers you up with ample usage.
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